• Ashley Elliott

30 Feelings & Many Lessons Shared By Women Who Have Lost their Babies

Updated: Mar 15

I spoke with several women who lost babies...they were willing to share some feelings and lessons learned from their heartbreak! I pray that you find encouragement from their vulnerability.


D. from Georgia who lost twin boys a few years ago shared:


Five feelings I experienced during my miscarriage were…

Anger

Bitterness

Loneliness

Fear

Sadness


What I learned from my loss...

Grief is real, there is no time limit, and we all experience it differently. Don't be afraid to ask for help, let people know how you are truly feeling, give yourself time to heal and experience all the emotions, don't be afraid to seek counsel... and it is not your fault.



A. from Indiana who lost a baby a couple of years ago shared:


Five feelings I experienced during my miscarriage were…

Emptiness

Abandonment

Disbelief

Panic

Heartbreak


What I learned from my loss...

In a season when words always fell short, feeling that people couldn’t possibly understand the grief that I was experiencing, desiring to guard my true feelings and emotions from everyone around me, and experiencing a sorrow that seemed to encompass me, I took comfort in this: God is God. I am not.


His ways are higher than my ways. His thoughts are higher than my thoughts. He makes no mistakes.


His plans for me are good. It was okay that I didn’t understand, because God did.


It may not make sense to some, but being reminded that I’m not in charge and that I haven’t been given all the answers was one of the only things that brought me comfort.


I am small, He is big. And He cares for me. (Isaiah 55:9, Jeremiah was 29:11, Matthew 6:30)


L. from Colorado who lost babies a couple of decades ago shared:


Five feelings I experienced during my loss were…

Betrayal (by God) - I felt He allowed something entirely unfair to happen to me - that I hadn’t done anything to deserve such a loss

Hurt -that He would cause me to suffer with this loss

Anger - at my Father/God who would make me endure the loss

Turning - I wanted to turn my back on Him and not deal with Him

Broken - I knew I would not be able to survive without Him (though for awhile I tried). I realized He cares for me even in my loss. I could not say or even think anything He did not already know, so I railed and yelled at Him until I had it all out.


What I learned from my loss...

I came to Him in my sorrow and grief and asked Him to meet with me and give me some hope. I lay on my bedroom floor facing East (toward His temple in Jerusalem) and I poured out my heart and then lay quietly, awaiting Him and His answer.


He met me there.


He promised (almost audibly though not quite) that He would never leave me (even when I had been so ugly to Him). He promised me that He loves me even in my ugliness and anger. He reminded me that He knows me and loves me (and also my precious lost daughter) more than ANYONE else. He met me with a new peace that I really needed.


I began to breathe again without the anger coming out toward the world. It was a growth time I would not relinquish — especially because I learned how God can take any criticism or anger and still Love Me! At that time He gave me some promises that have come true beyond what I could have imagined.


I am blessed even though I thought I was broken beyond repair.


Jesus told his disciples, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.” Luke 18:16a



V. from Indiana who lost babies nearly three decades ago shared:


Five feelings I experienced during my miscarriage were…

Shock

Distress

Devastation

Confusion

Emptiness


What I learned from my loss...

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